Ultimate Definitions

Written By Admin on July 9, 2011 | Saturday, July 09, 2011

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life


CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE: 
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students withoutpassing through the minds of either


CONFERENCE: 
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
COMPROMISE: 

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
TEARS: 

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY: 

A place where divorce comes before marriage
CONFERENCE ROOM: 

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY: 

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
CLASSIC: 

A book which people praise, but never read
SMILE:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!

This content is shared with GConnect by Mr. Padmanabhan Vijayaraghavan, an active GConnect member.
Courtesy: http://www.gconnect.in/


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